“They saw me for me, not just my problems”: Why consistency matters
For someone experiencing homelessness, finding somewhere safe to stay is an important first step. But rebuilding a life takes more than a roof over your head. It takes time, trust and people who are willing to stand by you.
For Joe, one of the most important things about the support he receives from The Society of St James (SSJ) is something that might sound simple:
“Support from SSJ has been consistent, which is important.”
But consistency can mean everything to someone who has spent much of their life expecting people to leave, let them down or disappear.
In our 2026 Christmas Appeal film, Joe speaks openly about his experiences with abandonment and the difficulties he has faced when building trust. Before coming to SSJ, the people supporting him changed repeatedly. Just as he began to build a relationship with someone, he would have to start again with somebody new.
At SSJ, things began to feel different.
Joe describes meeting Jess, a member of the SSJ team, as an important turning point in his journey.
“They saw me for me. Not just my problems.”
More than somewhere to live
Having somewhere safe to sleep is essential, but moving away from homelessness does not mean every challenge disappears.
People may still be dealing with trauma, poor mental health, addiction, anxiety and difficult experiences from the past. There can be relationships to rebuild, appointments to attend, practical problems to overcome and confidence to regain.
That is why ongoing, person-centred support matters. Sometimes it means helping someone navigate practical challenges. Sometimes it means encouraging them to take a new opportunity. And sometimes, it is simply about being there when someone needs you. Joe describes the importance of knowing that the people supporting him will not give up.
“Jess doesn't give up on me.”
For someone who has struggled with trust and abandonment, knowing that somebody will continue to show up can make it easier to build relationships, ask for help and begin looking towards the future.
What happens when trust begins to grow?
Positive change does not always happen overnight. It can start with small moments: feeling comfortable enough to talk, asking for help, going somewhere new or finding the confidence to try something different.
At SSJ, we recognise these moments as important milestones. We sometimes call them a 'lightbulb moment' – when someone begins to see new possibilities for themselves.
For Joe, that means thinking about what he wants to achieve next. He is planning to join the SSJ Academy walking group to help manage his anxiety. There are also conversations about training, developing new skills and perhaps eventually returning to work.
These might seem like small steps, but they can create structure, confidence, connection and a renewed sense of purpose.
Most importantly, they show what can become possible when someone has the right support around them.
The bed is the beginning. Consistent support helps build what comes next.
This Christmas, our message is about understanding that ending homelessness means more than providing somewhere to sleep. A bed creates safety. But rebuilding a life takes time, understanding and consistent support.
At The Society of St James, we work alongside people experiencing homelessness and other challenges, helping them take steps towards stability, independence and a brighter future.
Your donation to our Christmas Appeal helps us continue providing the support that makes these journeys possible across Hampshire, Portsmouth and Southampton.
Please help us continue to be there for people when they need us most.
DONATE TO OUR CHRISTMAS APPEAL
Joe is played by an actor. His story brings together real experiences shared with us by people we have supported. We have combined these experiences and changed identifying details to protect their privacy.